Gary James' Interview With Comedian
John Byner



He started out performing in small nightclubs, but he eventually moved on to The Ed Sullivan Show and The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Who are we talking about? Mr. John Byner. John has written his autobiography titled Five Minutes Mr. Byner! A Lifetime Of Laughter. (Write Life Publishing, Quality Books Publishing Inc. Distributed By IPG. Website: www.ipgbook.com. John Byner spoke with us about his autobiography.

Q - John, every Sunday night at 10 PM, Me TV airs The Best Of Ed Sullivan. You were on that Best Of recently. Did you get to see yourself?

A - I did. I was able to tune in and see what that guy did on that show. (laughs)

Q - I'm guessing that was a 1969 appearance?

A - Somewhere in there, maybe 1968, 1969, early '70s. Somewhere in there.

Q - When you look back at yourself, what goes through your mind? Do you think, "I could have done that joke a little differently"?

A - Here's what it is: If I have a terrific crowd, I'll leave the stage and go, "Hot damn! I should have told that joke. They were ready for it." That's the only time it's happened to me, anything like that.

Q - And since it's The Best Of Ed Sullivan, I can't tell whether that was the audience at the time you were on.

A - Yeah, I know. Going back to another audience, I can't tell you that. I can usually tell by the way they laugh, and if there's anything punched in there I can tell a laugh track from miles away.

Q - I would almost like to see an airing of the original show as it ran.

A - That would be wonderful.

Q - That's the way it should be.

A - Yeah. I believe it.

Q - Your first road gig was at a two bay gas station in Rochester, New York.

A - Yes. (laughs)

Q - Was that an extended gig?

A - Two weeks.

Q - How many people can you get into a two bay gas station?

A - Well, there were like, I guess forty on a Friday and Saturday night. Forty to fifty people.

Q - And that's where you honed your act as they say?

A - Yeah, basically. Greenwich Village was a big thing for me. I did a lot of work in Greenwich Village. I really enjoyed working with the Jazz musicians and that's where I was introduced to Jazz. I didn't know anything about Jazz until I worked at Vanguard, and I loved it.

Q - You also worked this club, The Oakes, for $40 a night.

A - In Long Island, yeah.

Q - How many shows a night did you have to do there?

A - On Saturday nights I think I did two. I can remember taking breaks in the kitchen. Friday night. Saturday night.

Q - You write in your book, "There's a lot of great talent working in hotel lounges of the country only because they didn't get the break required to move up the line." When you say "break," are you talking about representation?

A - I would say basically in speaking with some people who have wonderful voices that I've worked with, that weren't well known, I would say it's more that they don't want to fail, so they don't try it. I talked about The Johnny Carson Show in my book and how I went up there and there's a real snot nosed guy, pardon the expression, there. When we were kids my brother and I used to go around and sing like The Everly Brothers, just to work out and show people what we could do. One day we were up there doing it for a young crowd and people started throwing pennies up on stage. Real wise guys. So, every once in awhile you run into something like that. You just deal with it and you have to break through the part where you say I'm not gonna stop. I'm gonna keep on trying. And sure enough, God gives you a way. He leads you from one place to another place to another place as long as you let him know you want to do it. It'll all work out. That's the way I feel. I've seen a lot of untalented people work their way up to be stars because they were schmoozing with lunch. But I never had that in me. I just wanted to make people laugh and move on.

Q - Along the same line of questioning, from your book you write, "Some call it fate, others call it luck. Whatever you call it, you've probably been somewhere by chance at exactly the right moment and ended up getting a welcome surprise. I had one of those moments in my career and it changed my life."

A - Well, good.

Q - That's what you wrote.

A - Oh, I thought it was about you. (laughs) You keep going. You keep going and suddenly the phone will ring or the manager you hired is on the phone telling you (something). Shortly after I joined my manager he got me that job up in Rochester, New York. Harry Colomby.

Q - There's an expression that goes, "The harder I work, the luckier I get." You really had to work hard for the success you achieved, didn't you?

A - Well, yes. The Oakes is the one that made me really get started because I had to make some extra money for kids. I had kids. I was working for a swimming pool company. It wasn't paying a hell of a lot of money. We'd pray for overtime so we could make more money, but basically it was having to make more money. I saw the sign in the street every time I'd drive by it. It was a Saturday at the time when my wife told me the kids needed shoes. I just put my suit on and I went and walked in there and got the job. Forty bucks every Saturday night. That was big time then. For me it was a big deal. Then that led to; one of the musicians was in the kitchen. There was a trio there. I was doing JFK in my act. He said, "There's a JFK contest in Manhattan." The guy was interested in comedy. He used to take a buck at the door. You'd go in there and sit with agents and comics. I had never done anything like that. So I went in there and got up on stage when it was my turn and the audience went crazy and I got cards from agents and I got one from Harry Colomby, and he sounded like he knew what he was talking about. So, we had coffee and it was the beginning of a like a twenty-two year relationship.

Q - Was Harry Colomby related to Bobby Colomby in Blood, Sweat And Tears?

A - His brother.

Q - Isn't it rather unusual for a comic to have both an agent and a manager?

A - Well, it's something that has to be done. While you're up there working, while you're in the Mid-West or wherever the heck you are, he takes the phone. The agent does all the calling. I never did any calling to the agent. I've been with guys and they're always on the phone with their agent, their manager, or their lawyer. I said, I'll pay these guys. I'll just sit around and wait for them to get me a gig. And that's the way it was. It bothered Harry sometimes, but not me.

Q - You had to work on your material.

A - That's right. Harry had a good sense for comedy and I'd try something out on him and he'd say, "That's good," or "Maybe work on it a little bit." He was somebody I could try things out on. And he was always good at that. We were driving down to Florida to do a gig from New York and we started talking about comics and how they turned around. What do they do when they turn around? They always look the same. Years ago they'd go, "Something like this!" and they'd turn around. Maybe he's just thinking about the lousy job he has. (laughs) So, I did this thing on The Steve Allen Show, you'll see it on YouTube, and this comic is working to no crowd at all. The crowd is out there, but you just see the back of him the way they rigged it up. They had a stage with the camera in back of me and a dark thing is supposed to be the audience, right? So I say, "Okay. I know you haven't had much fun in the past hour and a half, so I'm going to do impersonations. My first impersonation is Mickey Mantle." I turn around and go, "Oh, my God. I don't know who booked me in this house. I can't believe the woman with the flyswatter in the front row." (laughs) I was just talking about the lousy gig. If they don't get this, I'll go right into impersonations. Anyway, that's how we worked that out and it was a real big success and I saw guys copy it from then on.

Q - I almost forgot to ask, who was your agent?

A - My first agent was A.P.A. (Agency for the Performing Arts). It didn't last too long. Then when I went out to L.A. I left A.P.A. and joined William Morris on Harry's account. He wanted me to do that.

Q - You made thirty-seven appearances on The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson.

A - Right.

Q - Did you ever guest host that show?

A - I was invited to, but I decided I didn't want to. (laughs)

Q - Why would that be?

A - In fact, David Letterman, who got real tight with Johnny there as you know, he asked me how come I don't do the Monday nights. I said, "I don't have three friends." (laughs) He said, "I'll do it with you!" I was just not into all the pressure that comes with something like that. I just like to get out there and make people laugh and do it.

Q - Are you saying if you did agree to be the guest host it would be up to you to select the guests for that particular show?

A - Yeah. They ask you who'd you like on. "We have so-and-so, and so-and-so available." I was on the show and Orson Wells wanted me on the show. (laughs) So, I said, "Okay. I'll do it." I'd just done it three weeks earlier. Generally you don't come on that early. You wait a few months at least 'til you go on. Harry called me and said, "They want you on The Tonight Show." I said, "I just did it." He said, "Orson Welles wants you on." I said, "I'll be there." (laughs)

Q - You can't turn Orson Welles down.

A - Yeah. He was great.

Q - You say in your book that Johnny Carson was shy, pretty much the opposite of what you would expect.

A - Yeah.

Q - Actually, that's not that rare among show business people.

A - Right.

Q - They are usually quite different from their onstage personality is.

A - Exactly. Your chance to open up in front of people without having to fill in conversation. I was never good at filling in conversation. Now, I know you so we can talk. My wife and I lived in an apartment house when we first got married in L.A. and I saw people in the elevator and I didn't know what the hell to say to them. (laughs) Nice day. Yeah. Boom! That's it. Conversations weren't easy for me. I'm against small talk. Harry Colomby was great at it. We'd be taking a plane to New York and he'd be sitting there talking to me and he'd get tired of talking to me and he'd look across the aisle and say to nobody, "Nice shoes!" He didn't care whether they were nice or not. That's just the way he'd start the conversation.

Q - That isn't a difficult trait to pick up, is it?

A - When you want to. Harry loved to talk. I don't love to talk. I like to listen. (laughs)

Q - I read someplace that Ed Sullivan paid Alan King something like $50,000 for a five minute monologue. That was pretty good money in 1967.

A - It was probably pumped up a bit.

Q - Was Ed Sullivan a good payer in 1967?

A - Yeah. Oh, yeah. He had respect from everybody in all departments.

Q - You worked the Las Vegas Strip at the same time Frank Sinatra did. Did you ever meet Frank Sinatra?

A - Oh, yeah. Sure, I met Frank Sinatra. I opened for him one night.

Q - Was that a tough gig, opening for Frank Sinatra?

A - No. It was a big affair in Los Angeles at the Santa Monica Civic Center. Dean Martin's wife started it years ago. They did a show once a year and got all kinds of money from sponsors. And, I was invited to do it. I was in the Green Room and someone knocked on the door, "Hey, Frank isn't ready. Can you go on now?" I said, "Sure enough." I went out there and had a lot of fun with it. I pretended he was in the wings. "No Frank. I got it. Don't worry about it." (laughs) I went on for fifteen minutes, talking about Frank. It was a big show and I had some very high class people walk up to me and tell me how much they enjoyed it. It was great.

Q - On page 155 of your book you write about Elvis, "Elvis had his personal comedian steal jewelry from him."

A - Yeah.

Q - I've never heard that before.

A - Oh, yeah. This guy that came up to me when I first heard from Elvis, as I write in the book, I walked into the room. "Hey John! Hey John!" He's (Elvis) with his guys at the end of a craps table. I said, "Hey Elvis! How ya doing?" He said, "Down the tubes. Down the tubes." (laughs) Then this little guy comes over to me while I'm with my girlfriend. We're playing the one armed bandits and he says, "Elvis likes comedians." I said, "That's nice." I make them laugh. I said, "That's nice. (laughs) It's good to hear." What am I going to do? Hang around with Elvis? I'd be forgotten real fast.

Q - Then on page 160 you write that Elvis was happy that he now had 51% of himself, which now gave him complete control over his choices in life. Prior to that, Colonel Tom Parker had 51% to Elvis' 49%.

A - Yeah. Right.

Q - Elvis' choices in what? Movies? Recordings? Concerts?

A - Everything. See, he couldn't go overseas because Colonel Parker didn't have a Green Card. And he wanted to go over there. He wanted to entertain the people in Europe and all these different places and he couldn't do it because of Colonel Parker.

Q - So, you didn't really get to know Elvis then, did you?

A - No, I didn't hang out with him, except he invited us up to his suite. I had a great time there. But he was a busy guy. He wasn't somebody you could just hang out with and have a beer with. He was a busy guy. Then, all those clowns had to come with him too.

Q - Pre-1964, did you hear about what was going on in England with groups like The Beatles and The Rolling Stones?

A - No. I was so busy either working a show or running in to do a show in The Village. I was a big fan of The Beatles right away and all that British stuff. I did work with some of 'em (British groups) on the Sullivan show.

Q - Harry James asked you if you were married. You said, "Yes." Then you thought that was an odd first question to ask. "It occurred to me later that question may have been for the benefit of Ruth Price." Was he trying to get you a date with Ruth Price?

A - No, he just wanted to clear the air. He and Ruth were the only ones on the bus when I got on there. (laughs) He said, "Hi Reds." I never heard that in my life before. I heard "Red", but not "Reds." So he said, "Are you married?" "Yeah." And that was that. She was sitting in front of him on another seat with a little dachshund on her lap. We've become friends over the years.

Q - You were also a good friend of Joe Cocker?

A - Oh, yeah. (laughs) One of my favorites in the business. I loved his music. I used to play it before I met him. I played it when I had to drive up places, distances and I'd listen to his stuff. It would just work out so great. The music he sang and the trees flying buy. He was wonderful. A friend of mine, a band leader whom I'd known many years prior to Joe Cocker, he was the bandleader on The Gong Show. He played the bass and he led the band. Then he became Joe's right hand man, road manager. Filling out all that stuff. Getting the planes, the buses, and getting the musicians together. The first time I met Joe I was in Los Angeles. He called and said, "You want to meet Joe? He wants to meet you." I said okay. So, I'm down at the airport and they were all waiting around in this little room, waiting area. Big stars. And we had a wonderful conversation and I became a fan of his. I mean a really big fan. Any time Joe would be in the area I would get a call and we'd hang out after the shows and have a good time.

Q - Besides promoting your book, are you still doing your comedy?

A - I'm always ready to. But, living in Florida and not Los Angeles, I lose out on a lot as far as television goes and movies. "You have to be here." is what the agent keeps saying. You have to live here. Nobody wants to pay for trips and rooms and things like that anymore.

Q - There's no business like show business. At least that's what they say.

A - I'm very proud of what I've done in the past. I hope to get a chance to do some other things, but that's quite alright.

Q - Well, you're happy.

A - Very much so.

Q - Think about all the comics who checked out far too early.

A - I said this to Nathan Lane at dinner one night; We were talking about the people that I started out with. I said, "I'm just glad I never got rich enough to kill myself." (laughs) And that's it. They got all this money comin' in. "Why buy a gram? Let's buy a pound!"

Q - Isn't it strange that it has to come to that?

A - It's strange because they're so damn bored with themselves. Nothing's left. They've worked their way up. They're on the cover of Time magazine. Agents are calling. It has to be better than the next time to make an album. It drives you crazy! I just wanted to have a nice lackadaisical life, and I do. And I always have. I didn't worry about gigs between gigs. I didn't worry about jobs. I got the manager. I got the agent. What do I need to be on the phone for?

Q - Going back to what we talked about earlier, there are some comics who just never got that break.

A - You have to quit your job to take a gig. You have to go back and find someone to pay you in between when you leave. It's not easy. For a single guy it's a lot easier, but not for a married guy with kids.

Q - Show business is a tough gig.

A - (laughs) But it's well worth it when it happens, I'll tell you.

Official Website: JohnByner.com

© Gary James. All rights reserved.

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